


It wouldn't work, anyway.

by Fred_ster



Series: Melancholy & Violence [2]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Worried Alfie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:34:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fred_ster/pseuds/Fred_ster
Relationships: Tommy Shelby & Alfie Solomons, Tommy Shelby/Alfie Solomons
Series: Melancholy & Violence [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709740
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	It wouldn't work, anyway.

Alfie felt like prisoner of the time, tortured by the sound of the clock reminding him that Tommy wasn’t there. He really wanted to just not give a fuck, take his stuff, jump in the car and head back to the bakery, it was just easier said than done. The big Jew had been on the verge of leaving at least a hundred times since his head had sent the first warning about Tommy’s absence, hours before. Five more minutes, he said each time, hoping for them to be the last. But they never were, and Alfie soon found out, he had more patience than he thought.

One hour and the room had become dark enough for the lamp and Alfie’s cigar to be the only visible things in it, too busy thinking about bloody scaring scenarios, the man didn’t even think about putting some candles or log on the nearly dead fire. And then, before he could process anything, his ears commanded his gaze to quickly move for the door, legs following a half second after, he didn’t even bother hide the anxiety radiating from his muscles, sure that the anger would cover it with the most sever expression his face ever portrayed. Cursing words ready on the tip of his tongue, strength flowing into his knuckles already closed in a punch, Alfie Solomons had never been more willing to beat someone, not even a fucking kraut, but then again, he had never cared so much for somebody either. He deliberately decided to avoid wondering about the choice of words of his thought. Wasn’t really the time to start a debate about whether ‘care’ was the right word or not.

He stood there, waiting for the door to open and reveal the pale, skinny, irritating face of his fucking God-knows-what. Ready to enjoy the perfection of a well-structured violent scolding, him being right in front of his target who would soon be trapped before him. But when the scenario in his head was just ready to see a light, the image of a very unstable Tommy made Alfie forget about the waiting, the curse words, the punch and even the freaking English word for ‘לעזאזל’.

After three hours, Tommy was there, one side of his body leaning on the doorframe, the other bent down on the trembling hand that was still holding the key to the open door, the darkness of the night hid his bruised face, while it couldn’t really do anything for the smell of blood, couldn’t do anything for the red enlarging spot on Tommy’s white shirt. As an attempt to ease the seriousness of that miserable scene, Tommy tried to put his last strength in a wobbly step, that brought him right into Alfie’s arms

“Jesus Christ, Tommy!”

Alfie shout when Tommy’s weight landed on him with no warnings. His mind rapidly told him what to do without him even acknowledging it: his right foot shut the door closed, while his arms closed around Tommy’s body, hands already soaked in the blood Alfie hoped wasn’t entirely from the man. He found himself dragging the younger one into the living room and then on the couch before adding wood on the fire that slowly made Tommy’s painful expression more vivid.

“What on bloody earth happened to you?”

Alfie asked. Urgency and rage in his voice making themselves known more than he wished, while he went from bending on the fire to standing in front of the couch.

“I’m fine. “

Tommy whispered with his eyes closed and Alfie could actually see him focusing on not letting his pain being noticed, he could just sense it on the way Tommy put his hand on his forehead trying to collect some kind of energy from the few parts of his body that weren’t aching.

“Right. You sure look like you are.”

“Is that sarcasm?”

“No, it’s a fucking lie, mate. You look like devil’s shit. “

In another situation, without blood spilling on the sofa and pain spreading all over his body, Tommy probably wouldn’t have been able to hold a smile. One of those smiles he found out could make, when Alfie said those kind of stupid things, but with the most serious face, those that left most people wondering whether he was serious or not. Most of the people, but not Tommy.

“How come I didn’t kill you yet?”

Tommy asked, eyes still closed and hand on his face, the comfort of the couch absorbing his sore body, making Tommy start to feel every single bruise. He didn’t see nor heard Alfie kneeling next to the couch with a sound full groan.

“Guess it has something to do with the charm. Or the beard. Or— “

“You ever tired of talking, Alfie?”

Tommy questioned, heading is face towards his side just to find out, once he had opened his eyes, that Alfie was there, looking at him with a sweetness he rarely saw.

“Fuck off then. You planning on telling me what the fuck happened?”

“Sabini happened.”

“Christ.”

“I guess he finished licking his wounds and he’s ready to take his reign back.”

With that said, Tommy felt like he gathered enough strength to try and sit up, which is what he successfully did after a few seconds of catching his breath under Alfie’s attentive gaze. The older man, flinched a bit and stood up. After a minute of keeping his hands on his hips while Tommy held his head between his hands, Alfie sighed, touched his beard like it was some kind of magic lamp and looked down to Tommy.

“Right. You should close the Eden, can’t be good having their old belonging shining into those boorish eyes of theirs.”

“Already done.”

“You wh— “

Alfie, who took some good three minutes to think about that, disappointment spreading on his face when he heard the man saying he already thought about that, especially since his health condition. Guess you can never be a step forward the Great Shelby, not even when he was bleeding out. But then, suspicions kicked disappointment away, leaving Alfie with nothing but the certainty of his fearful suppositions.

“God Tommy, how long?”

“Mh?”

“How long did it take before you decided it was better to bleed out in your home rather than your office?”

“Like... two hours?”

Coming to the realization that Tommy lost more blood than he initially thought, Alfie instantly shifted his gaze on him, noticing how his skin just turned even more pale under the tiny drops of sweat that made his figure shine against the light of the fire. The Peaky Blinder was now lying on the sofa, head back, face battered, eyes almost completely closed, his arms were resting down on the couch, his shirt was completely stuck on his body, soaked with sweat and blood coming from his side. And almost like he heard something in Tommy’s breath change, Alfie jumped on him, taking his jaw in his hand to pull him up and prevent him from falling asleep.

“Tommy, look at me! Ehi, wake up, boy.”

Alfie said while he started to undress him to get a better look of the wound. He wished he could just have more hands, so that he could use one to keep Tommy awake by hitting his face.

“Tommy, I need you to stay awake, alright? Oi, hear me? Don’t you fucking sleep, you negligent idiot.”

“God, you’re louder than Esme.”

“Did you just fuckin put me on a par with that gipsy family of yours?

Alfie’s hands stripped Tommy of his coat and shirt, just to real a deep wound, probably from a stabbing, purple bruises forming on his ribs. He sighed with frustration before standing up to go gather some water and a cloth while talking to Tommy.

“Thought you liked Ada.”

“Too political.”

Alfie answered coming back to him with everything he needed in his hands. He then kneeled down and proceeded to clean the wound.

“Just keep talking, boy.”

“What about Michael?”

“What, the small crappy version of you?”

“Polly?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Finn, then.”

“I like him.”

“Yeah. Figured. “

Alfie looked at Tommy, scanning the man to detect anything that could help him stop thinking about his imminent death. Why did he care so much, was still a mystery to the man. He had been in that sort of relationship for two weeks by then, he spent that time going back and forth from the mansion to London without really knowing why he would jump on the car every night to go back to that bastard, it just felt good to know Tommy was waiting for him. Even if he never really said it, Alfie just knew it, he saw it in his eyes every night, sitting far from each other, talking business and shit, Tommy had been waiting for him to come back. He knew, at some point, they needed to discuss the nature of their feeling, he just thought that wasn’t the right moment, or maybe, he already knew it and didn’t wanna speak out loud with the risk of seeing that whole dream shred into pieces before his eyes. He kept staring at Tommy, silently, trying to catch the smallest detail so that it would be printed for the eternity along with Tommy’s smell, with the way curse words seemed to be created for his voice, his careful and slow walk, the sound of his breath when he just couldn’t hold his frustration for carrying the burden of a whole family. Alfie knew, those were the things that made him keep going back to that big empty house, the hope Tommy would gift him with another piece of his soul. Alfie placed a hand on Tommy’s hot cheek, moving his head so that he could face him and yearned when he saw pain and exhaustion mixing up into the blue of his eyes.

“Right, you need a bed. “

“I need a whiskey. “  
Alfie shake his head, stunned but not really surprised, he gave up trying to guess Tommy’s thoughts and answers, the man just seemed to be the least predictable person in the world, coming up with the most unexpected, and often ridiculous, answer ever.

“Yeah, sure I’m gonna just add some pain to that crashed body of you. Did you fucking hit that messed up head?”

“Alright, I’ll take it myself.”

“I’d love to see you trying love. “

Alfie said, bending down to take a sleepy Tommy in his arms, showing little to no struggle doing that, mostly thanks to Tommy being a light weight.

“Unfortunately, I think you’ll have to skip your night cup today. Got other things to care about, haven’t we?”

“Do we, Alfie?”

“We do sweetheart. Carrying you to bed being the first one. “

“Just put me down, Alfie.”

“Not gonna happen, mate. I promise I won’t tell anybody about this, alright? ”  
  


“ Just shut up. “

………

“You should head back to London, close your bakery, look after your business.”

You’re my business, too. Alfie wish he could have said, but they remained just thoughts, trapped in the invisible cage that kept his feeling hid under tons of “but”. Instead, he moved a chair close to Tommy’s bed and sit there, pushing a wet cloth on Tommy’s burning forehead which seemed to help the man distract himself from the hot sting in his side for a brief moment.

“But that’s not your problem, is it?”

“Wanna stay here playing nurse while Sabini brings hell in London?”

“He had his victory for the day. And he hates Camden anyway. “

“Can’t blame him for that “

“Show some respect, would you? It’s a dirty place with decent men.”

“Like you?”

“Any objections?”

“Not at all, no. “

After two hours, they were still in the same position. One of Alfie’s hand close to Tommy’s on the mattress, the older man stranded on the chair, eyes closed and a peaceful face, Tommy was sleeping, drops of sweat shining on his face. Used to his continued moving, Alfie didn’t make a move when he heard the noise of the mattress, he kept his eyes close event thought he didn’t actually fell asleep in any moment

“Alfie?”  
“What is it?”

The older man asked, without opening his eyes yet.

“You’re awake. “

“So it seems. “

“This, us, this won’t work. “

Taken by surprise, Alfie slowly opened his eyes, looking at Tom, almost begging for him to be dreaming, for him to just be victim of his own dreams. He shifted upright on the chair, his gaze now more focused on the other man.

“Just sleep, Tommy. “

“Why are you here, Alfie?

“Right, guess you just woke up more talkative than usual, didn’t you?”

He exclaimed, putting his hands on his knees.

“Answer the question, Alfie. “

“I’m not one of your bloody Peaky whatever, Tommy. So stop treating me like one, would ya?”

“Then answer the question.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Because I asked?”

“Right. “

Alfie sighed, his expression just telling out loud he was tuckered out, filled with Tommy’s shit to the brim and he just couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed his hands on his knees and stood up, shook his head murmuring something in Jewish before, turning his back on Tommy and heading for the back of the room. He put his hat back on, and his coat on his arm, the darkness of the night and the light of the moon making his muscles under the white shirt seem more defined, and possibly, more hot, but of course Tommy would have never admitted that while look it at him, pretending not to care about him leaving, while his hand reached for the cigarette on the nightstand.

When he was ready, he turned to look at Tommy, who was now smoking with indifference for his surroundings.

“Right, I’m leaving. “

“Fucking predictable. “

Tommy said without really whispering, while blowing smoke away.  
  


“Wanna start a fight Tommy? Mh? Is that it?”

Just tell me stay. But that too, was something Alfie never said. Some part of him agreeing with Tommy when it came to the future of their relationship whatsoever. He just needed time to decide which part was actually right, decide whether he should be rational or just do something for himself, for a change. Silence filled the room, before Alfie decided to give up and raise his hands.

“Whatever, mate. “

He said, putting a hand on the doorknob, stopping when it opened a bit so that he could turn to Tommy’s figure.

“You know, Thomas, you’re right. This… “he gestured, moving the free hand between them “. . . it wouldn’t work. “

That said, Alfie quickly opened the door and headed for the stairs and then his car, leaving Tommy alone in his room. Five minutes after that, Alfie was hitting his wheel with frustration coming out in curse words, meanwhile, an empty glass was thrown against Tommy’s wall. Small pieces of glass fell on the floor and reflected Tommy’s blasted face.

That night, Alfie and Tommy didn’t sleep.


End file.
